Character: Helen

Actually Try, Now

Ah, yes, it turns out that all-stars don’t need an all-star effort to beat… *checks notes*… a bunch of schlubs in the office slo-pitch league.

EMPLOYEE OF THE WEEK:

Brien Aronov is Employee of the Week, and will be one of the folks getting a digital copy of Hell, Inc. Volume 4: “Mandatory” later today once I’ve put the finishing touches on the file! You can be one of those people, too, by supporting Hell, Inc. on Patreon! New subscribers at any level will receive volume 4 as well as over 1000 pages of other digital comics by me and special guest cartoonist Lukasz Kowalczuk!

You can also vote for Hell, Inc. on Top Webcomics, which is the primary source of new readers for the comic. More votes = more visibility, so click on the link below to vote (daily)!

Next Week: B.L. Zebub reacts to adversity in a mature, thoughtful manner. Nah jk. Read it early on Patreon!

Time is a Flat Diamond

Time has felt like a flat diamond to me for most of 2020, so Helen is just catching up to my level.

EMPLOYEE OF THE WEEK:

Cindy Gauthier is Employee of the Week, and can help fulfill all of your COVID-related mask needs. If you want to get your comics needs handled, support Hell, Inc. on Patreon, where you’ll get a digital copy of the aforementioned “Team-building Exercise” book (which includes a book-exclusive short story) as well as over 1000 pages of other comics!

You can also vote for Hell, Inc. on Top Webcomics, which continues to be the comic’s largest source of new readers. Click on the banner below to vote daily!

NEXT WEEK: We find out if our favourite ballbasers make it to the finals! Read it early on Patreon!

Champions

Welcome to the 666th (maybe? I dunno, we lost count) Annual Mandatory Intramural Slo-Pitch Tournament. Catchy name, right? I thought so.

EMPLOYEE OF THE WEEK:

Robbie Dorman, host of The Simpsons Show podcast, is Employee of the Week. He’s also one of the co-hosts of new podcast Cartoon Graveyard, on which I was the first guest! We talked about The Mighty Ducks animated series from 1996-7 and discussed whether it should be reincarnated or buried, and it was a lot of fun. If you like fun, you probably also want to be Employee of the Week and help Hell, Inc. continue existing by supporting Hell, Inc. on Patreon. All new patrons are receiving a digital copy of Hell, Inc. Volume 3: Team-building Exercise, as well as access to a Dropbox folder with over 1000 pages of digital comics!

You can also help Hell, Inc. by voting for it on Top Webcomics, which brings in loads of new readers! Votes early in the month (like, say, now) are worth extra as the rankings reset.

Next Week: Stan is the Man. Or whatever you would call an incarnation of evil? Read it early on Patreon!

The Bad Chair

Early in working on Hell, Inc. I solicited weird office stories from my friends who work in offices, and the bad chair comes from one of those. Caitlin had her chair swapped at some point while she was out of the office, and realized pretty quickly that the new one was broken and hurting her back. After a week or so of scouting the office for unused chairs, she found one that was unattended and swapped it with the bad chair. And thus I had a very silly subplot that would prove to be totally obnoxious to draw.

EMPLOYEE OF THE WEEK:

Azhar is Employee of the Week, and has come to us via some crossover from the Lions Led by Donkeys podcast, which I’ve done some art for this year. Do you want a drawing of Napoleon as a donkey riding backwards on a confused horse? Well because of LLbD, you can do that. Do you want to help support Hell, Inc.? You can do that, too! If you think what I’m doing here is worth a dollar, you can support Hell, Inc. on Patreon to get early access to each strip and a digital copy of Hell, Inc. Volume 3: “Team-building Exercise!”

You can also help me out by voting for Hell, Inc. on Top Webcomics, which is the largest source of new readers for the comic. It’s early in the month, so votes are worth more as the rankings reset and the playing field is leveled. Click the banner below to vote!

Next Week: The Saga of the Bad Chair continues. Read it early by supporting Hell, Inc. on Patreon!

Too Much? Too Much

“We need a six out of ten, and you’re giving us a fifteen, so maybe let’s dial it back a little?” Also I am not at all going to miss drawing the practice calendar in the background, because it always ends up making things take longer.

EMPLOYEE OF THE WEEK:

Jillian Dolan is Employee of the Week! You should check out the comics she’s drawn, Kyle the Nihilist Dinosaur and Misha. We also just took the same digital colouring class last weekend, although you won’t see any of the things I learned from it in Hell, Inc. in the near future, because I’m like 30 strips ahead right now. If you want to help out your favourite independent artist/fake megacorporation, be like Jillian and support Hell, Inc. on Patreon. New patrons will be receiving a digital copy of Hell, Inc. book 3, “Team-building Exercise,” as well as over a thousand pages of other comics.

You can also support Hell, Inc. by voting for it on Top Webcomics, because that’s the largest source of new readers for the comic. You can vote daily by clicking on the banner below!

Next Week: Sara’s enthusiasm continues to be mismatched to the situation. Read it early on Patreon!

Drag Me to Hell (from Elsewhere in Hell)

Having just lettered a later page in the series (the as-yet-untitled strip #134) and completely botched the balloon spacing to the point that I had to change font sizes to make things fit, I have no idea how I managed to leave the exact right amount of space in the last panel of this strip. Spacing weird balloons like that is much harder than spacing the normal ones, and somehow I got that one right.

EMPLOYEE OF THE WEEK:

Welcome new Employee of the Week, Christine! Christine is the artist behind Purple Pony Art, and is among the folks to have access to Hell, Inc. Volume 3: Team-Building Excercise well before the general populace! As a special thanks to the Patrons who are supplying my only income during the COVID crisis, the third Hell, Inc. book will be available to all Patrons at every support level. It won’t be made available otherwise until the next Kickstarter (for books 3 and 4). If you want to help support Hell, Inc., head over to the Patreon. Every dollar helps (a lot), and during quarantine/social-distancing all patrons will receive a Dropbox link with over a thousand pages of comics to pass the quarantime.

You can also vote for Hell, Inc. on Top Webcomics, which is the largest source of new readers for the site. More votes = more readers, so please do that.

Next Week: The floor is lava! Kind of literally! Read it early on Patreon!

Princess of Hell

This was a “I think I wrote too much dialogue, but managed to fit it all in without ruining the art anyway” strip. They happen once in a while, and are usually the result of me not realizing while I’m writing that I should have broken a strip into two. A rule of thumb I tend to like for that is by counting the number of bubbles on the page – if I get past 7, I need to think about splitting the strip into two and punching up the mid-strip joke to carry a strip. Do people like it when I ramble about technical stuff like this? I don’t know, but you could tell me!

EMPLOYEE OF THE WEEK:

Welcome new Employee of the Week Sebastian, who has joined up just in time for the new Patreon promotion – book 3! That’s right, as I announced late last week, Hell, Inc. Volume 3 – Team-Building Exercise, is finished, and is going to be available exclusively to patrons while we’re stuck at home due to COVID-19. I can’t do a lot to make your time in self-isolation better, but what I can do, I will! It includes a six page short story that will only be available in the book, so check that out. Patrons at any level will be able to download their own PDF copy at their leisure.

Patreon is the only source of income at the moment, so every dollar helps me AND gets you a copy of not only volume 3, but access to over 1000 pages of other comics I’ve worked on! If you dig Hell, Inc. and think it’s worth a dollar, I’d really appreciate it!

You can also help out by visiting Top Webcomics and voting for Hell, Inc., which exposes it to new readers and thus new potential patrons. You can vote once per day by clicking the banner below!

Next Week: Doug’s DIY Bouncer Service. Read it early by supporting Hell, Inc. on Patreon!

First Responders

“I mean, we’ve put in a small amount of effort, what more can we do!?” – Bridget and Steve.

This update is later in the day than normal, because the COVID social distancing situation has led me to struggle even more with knowing what day it is, especially now that Caitlin works from home. Every day is just kinda the same.

EMPLOYEE OF THE WEEK:

Welcome another new employee, Laurel! If you think Hell, Inc. is worth a dollar, head over to the Patreon and help keep things going. COVID has pretty much destroyed my income for March and April, which were reliant on going out into the public and selling things. As an added incentive, all patrons are going to have access to the digital comics library for the duration of the COVID crisis, which includes well over a thousand pages of comics that I’ve drawn, and bonus appearances by one of my favourite cartoonists, Lukasz Kowalczuk! So check that out, you will not find a better deal.

You can also help Hell, Inc. by voting on Top Webcomics. The comic is pretty highly ranked this month, and that’s helping to bring in new readers and keep more folks self-isolated without losing their minds. Click on the banner below to vote.

NEXT WEEK: Maybe customers retching on the floor is not ideal for the restaurant staff? Read it a week early on Patreon.

Shots, Shots Shotsshotsshots

I don’t know exactly when Helen became that middle-aged white lady who pretends wine is a personality, but she’s become way more interesting as a result. Which also means she’ll pop up more frequently, because that happens every time I figure out how I want to write a character.

EMPLOYEE OF THE WEEK:

Welcome new employee Jillian Dolan! She is the artist of Kyle the Nihilist Dinosaur, Misha, and other comics! You should go check them out, they’re great. Jillian was the first new patron to take advantage of my COVID boredness-relief effort – all patrons will receive a link to a Dropbox folder with every digital comic I’ve produced that I have redistribution rights for. There are roughly 1,150 pages of comics in there, with more added every time I have a new book or short story released. It’s an ideal way to get a lot of material to read and also support your favourite artist who suddenly has no conventions or book fairs (aka a large amount of my income) for the foreseeable future. So if you think Hell, Inc. and over a thousand pages of other things I’ve drawn are worth a few bucks, hit up the Hell, Inc. Patreon and you’ll have a folder of comics within 24 hours. It will be VERY appreciated.

You can also help Hell, Inc. by voting on Top Webcomics. The comic is pretty highly ranked this month, and that’s helping to bring in new readers and keep more folks self-isolated without losing their minds. Click on the banner below to vote.

Next Week: Hell’s best crisis management team. Read it early on Patreon!

Sweaty Steve

Steve is me after I play sports. The sweating starts early and ends… never. It never ends. I look like I’ve been in a rain storm before I’m even tired.

EMPLOYEE OF THE WEEK:

Cindy Gauthier is Employee of the Week, and you did not come to see us at Dead By Con last weekend, because it was postponed due to COVID-19. Incidentally, most of my expected income for the month was from events and appearances, which are now postponed/canceled, so if you think Hell, Inc. is worth a buck or two, support me on Patreon, because that’s my only predictable form of income each month. The rest of my money comes from freelancing and selling books, which is WILDLY INCONSISTENT even without the goddamn plague.

Vote. Top Webcomics. Do it. It’s how I get more readers and keep this thing chugging along. Click the banner.

Next Week: Shots, shots shotsshotsshots. Read it early on Patreon!