A Very Short Mystery

Truly I am the successor to Sir Arthur Conan Doyle or Agatha Christie with these kinds of mystery writing skills. Or at least the successor to the procedurals where it’s always the first suspect but they chase a bunch of others to pad the episode.

EMPLOYEE OF THE WEEK:

Anthony is Employee of the Week, and has jumped on board to read Hockeypocalypse: Slashers, which you should, too! The first 36 pages (which make up issue 14) are up, with issue 15 starting right away. You’ll be helping support the book’s existence, and also be getting the printed book when it’s ready!

You can help Hell, Inc. reach more readers by voting for it on Top Webcomics (also, y’know, tell your friends about it and send them links and shit)! Click on the banner below to vote daily!

Next Week: Everything is extremely normal, especially when you have to say it is extremely normal. Read it early on Patreon!

Puzzled

Happy Labour Day, workers of the Hell, Inc. audience. As always, I support using Hell, Inc. to steal company time like they’re stealing your time, so make sure to use your “settling back in” time on Tuesday morning for some catch-up or an archive binge.

EMPLOYEE OF THE WEEK:

Sebastian is Employee of the Week, and was also Employee of the Week last time I posted a comic on a holiday Monday, which is a strange bit of chance. I don’t know how to transition from that to Patreon stuff, but you can get Hockeypocalypse: Slashers as I draw it AND access to over a thousand pages of other comics, including the previous Hockeypocalypse books, for $5 a month on Patreon and ALSO help support me, the creator of said comics, because apparently humans need money to live. It’s a real bummer, that need for money to live.

You can also help Hell, Inc. by voting for it on Top Webcomics! It’s early in the month, so votes are worth even more as the rankings reset and each vote has more power to move a comic up the rankings.

Next Week: Suspicions are… whatever suspicion as a verb is. Read it early on Patreon!

Very Different Problems

It took me the longest time to grasp what magical realism meant, only to learn that I do it ALL THE TIME in my comics. Like, constantly. Like, this entire strip. So that’s fun.

EMPLOYEE OF THE WEEK:

In some pretty ideal CORPORATE SYNERGY, Ben Hamlin, host of Syndicated with Lesley and Ben (among other casted pods), is Employee of the Week just days after my SECOND appearance on his podcast! First, I joined Lesley and Ben to talk about underrated sitcom gem NewsRadio, where we dunk on Joe Rogan and Andy Dick for human garbage, but mostly discuss the clear line of progression that can be drawn from NewsRadio to later hit NBC workplace sitcoms The Office, 30 Rock, and Parks and Rec. Then, because of some scheduling weirdness, I returned for the very next episode to discuss the episode of Workaholics where they try to network at the Gathering of the Juggalos. They’re both great fun, and an opportunity to actually hear me talk and confirm that I am a real human and not just a robot that generates comics.

Speaking of comics, I’m serializing my new graphic novel, Hockeypocalypse: Slashers on Patreon at the $5/month and up tier, which gets you 10-15 pages of the book as I draw them! It’s the best book I’ve made so far, so you should absolutely check it out, because patrons at the $5/month and up tiers will ALSO be getting a print copy of the book when that’s ready.

You can also help more people see Hell, Inc. by voting for it on Top Webcomics, which is the largest webcomic database thingy that I’m aware of. More votes = higher ranking = more visibility, so click the banner below to vote daily!

Next Week: It’s very important to be clear that you are using office supplies for work purposes. Especially when you aren’t. Read it early on Patreon!

Hell, Inc. and the Deathly Silence

Hell, Inc. and the Deathly Silence will also be adapted into two movies, but the creator won’t use their Twitter account to be a gigantic piece of shit. Why, you ask? Because if I get two movies worth of Hollywood money, my Twitter account will entirely consist of me posting art and weird thoughts that make me sound high but I’m not, my brain is just like that. So like it is now except without the parts where I have to promote things like a chump.

EMPLOYEE OF THE WEEK:

Robbie Dorman is Employee of the Week, and is co-host of The Simpsons Show, the only podcast about The Simpsons. You should also follow him on Twitter to learn about his new novel releases. You should ALSO check out the Hell, Inc. Patreon, which is currently host to my new graphic novel, Hockeypocalypse: Slashers. I’m posting 3-4 pages per week for patrons at the $5/month and up levels. You get to help me have an income while I draw the book AND you’ll get a printed copy in the mail when they’re ready! So go support your favourite cartoonist for the cost of a coffee.

You can help more people see Hell, Inc. by voting for it on Top Webcomics, which is the biggest of the various webcomic ranking websites. Click on the banner below to vote daily!

Next Week: Look, sometimes going outside leads to some exciting opportunities to conspire. Read it early on Patreon!

Professional Sit-Downers

As I age, the effects of being a professional sit-downer have become more noticeable, and I don’t like it. I’m sure at some point I will become a gnarled cartooning golem that requires some sort of medical professional to straighten back out on a semi-regular basis.

EMPLOYEE OF THE WEEK:

New employee Anthony has come on board for the exciting new development on the Patreon, the serialization of Hockeypocalypse: Slashers! It’s my new graphic novel, which patrons will get to read as I draw it. Then, when it’s printed, they’ll be getting a physical copy in the mail! You can read the first five pages for free – if you like it, sign up at the $5 or above tier! Patreon is also my only predictable income at the moment, so I would really appreciate it if you help support my new personal book project so I don’t have to scrounge for freelance work!

If you want to help out Hell, Inc., vote for it on Top Webcomics! The higher the comic gets in the rankings, the more potential new readers are exposed to it.

Next Week: Some situations just make you deflate like an empty balloon, y’know? Read it early on Patreon!

Punishment Delivery

It’s ideal when you don’t have a plan but then some force beyond your control solves your problems for you.

EMPLOYEE OF THE WEEK:

Joe Amon is Employee of the Week, and because he pledges at the $5 tier he’ll have access to Hockeypocalypse: Slashers. I’m serializing my next graphic novel, a YA horror story about mutant hockey players in post-apocalypse Canada, 2-4 pages per week on Patreon! When it’s done and printed, $5 and up patrons will be getting copies in the mail!

Voting on Top Webcomics is also helpful, especially early in the month when the rankings reset. Click the banner below to vote daily!

Next Week: People who sit down all the time are excellent pack mules. Read it early on Patreon!

This Shall Not Stand

I have visions of doing a B.L. Zebub-style header every time I stand on a chair for something. That never prevents me from standing on said chair to change light bulbs or get the crockpot or whatever, but I always think it as I’m climbing up there.

EMPLOYEE OF THE WEEK:

Shane Lees is Employee of the Week! He also does a webcomic, called The First Dude, which you can check out at his website. You should also check out the Hell, Inc. Patreon, which will be getting an overhaul in July, which you can read more about. In short, the $5/month pledge tier is gonna be STACKED with a whole new Hockeypocalypse graphic novel.

You can also help Hell, Inc. by voting for it on Top Webcomics, which helps bring in new readers to check out the comic. Click the banner below to vote daily!

Next Week: It’s hard to maintain the energy of a speech when you get a head injury in the middle of it. Read it early on Patreon.

Carry On

Just ignore the guy who slammed his head through the wall. Happens all the time.

EMPLOYEE OF THE WEEK:

Azhar Baig is Employee of the Week, and has a podcast called The Wisdom of Love that you should check out. It’s a comedic recounting of the Great Western Philosophers. In addition to all of that philosophy, he has access to Hell, Inc. Volume 5: Overtime, and you can, too, by supporting Hell, Inc. on Patreon! It’s my entire income at the moment, which is not ideal!

You can also help out Hell, Inc. by voting on Top Webcomics! More votes = more visibility, and it’s still early enough in the month that the rankings are very fluid. Click on the banner below to vote daily!

Next Week: Party planning instructions are more thorough than anyone’s actual job training. Read it early on Patreon!

Less Immediate, Still Regret

This and the next strip were originally supposed to be one episode, which was, obviously a very poor bit of planning. Thankfully I’ve been doing this long enough to be able to spot those kinds of issues before they become a problem, or solve those problems in ways that don’t stick out as patch-jobs.

EMPLOYEE OF THE WEEK:

Christine Bennett, better known as Purple Pony Art, is Employee of the Week! She has early access to Hell, Inc. Volume 5: “Overtime” and you can, too! Head over to the Hell, Inc. Patreon and for as little as $1 a month you’ll get access to that book and over 1000 pages of over digital comics! Patreon is my most predictable source of income, so even $1 a month makes a big difference!

You can also vote for Hell, Inc. on Top Webcomics, which is the primary source of new readers for the comic. It’s the beginning of the month, so votes are worth even more as the rankings reset. Vote daily by clicking on the banner below!

Next Week: Back immediate regrets. Read it early on Patreon!

Immediate Regret

It’s Victoria Day in Canada, which means a long weekend which always screws up my routines for remembering to update. Could I load a bunch of posts in advance and not have to worry about that? Probably. Am I going to? Probably not. Much like how watching the NHL playoffs has made me furiously angry, but will I keep watching the Oilers next season? Yes. Will I do so while wallowing in self-loathing? Probably. If you want to check out the product of the last time I was in this headspace, go read the Hockeypocalypse books. People aware of the origins of the series will not be shocked to learn I’ve been writing a new volume.

EMPLOYEE OF THE WEEK:

Sebastian is Employee of the Week, and will be one of the first to have access to Hell, Inc. Volume 5: Overtime later this week, as I’m in the process of finishing that up. You can get that AND access to over a thousand pages of other comics, including the aforementioned Hockeypocalypse series, for as little as $1 a month on Patreon and ALSO help support me, the creator of said comics, because apparently humans need money to live.

You can also vote for Hell, Inc. on Top Webcomics, which brings in more new readers than any other avenue thus far. Click the banner below to vote daily!

Next Week: Mistakes were made, and their consequences have become clear. Read it early on Patreon!