Secret Misery Weapon

Secret Misery Weapon is my new rap name, I’ll be touring as Cadence Weapon’s much worse sidekick that is there to hype the crowd down so that when they hear something good they lose their goddamn minds in relief. It’s a new, innovative approach to live music. I’m not even high, this is just the kind of road my brain goes down all the time.

EMPLOYEE OF THE WEEK:

Shane Lees is Employee of the Week! He also does a webcomic, called The First Dude, which you can check out at his website. You should also check out the Hell, Inc. Patreon, where for $5/month you can read issue 14 of Hockeypocalypse, and will start getting pages from the absolute unit that is issue 15 next week! You also get Hell, Inc. strips early, or, at higher levels, you can commission original art from me!

You can also help Hell, Inc. by voting for it on Top Webcomics, which helps bring in new readers to check out the comic. Click the banner below to vote daily!

Next Week: A micro-mystery, which are the newest hot genre. Read it early on Patreon!

Puzzle It Out

I mentioned this on Patreon, but way more people read the stuff I post here. Every time I look at one of the strips involving spreadsheet Tetris I’m struck with the desire for there to be a Hell, Inc. video game. I don’t know how to program a video game, but if anyone else thinks a Hell, Inc. puzzle RPG with spreadsheet Tetris as the core gameplay would be cool and you either know or are a game developer, hit me up.

EMPLOYEE OF THE WEEK:

Bartender of the Apocalypse is Employee of the Week, and you can too by heading over to the Hell, Inc. Patreon and supporting at the $2/month tier or above! At the $5/month tier or above, you get access to Hockeypocalypse: Slashers as I draw it! And you should do that, because that’s my only paying thing right now, and humans need money to live because we haven’t overthrown the rich yet.

EDMONTON EXPO UPDATE: I was going to be doing my first convention appearance in 2 years at Edmonton Expo in October, but that has since been cancelled due to the Alberta provincial government’s complete inability to do anything for the public good unless it benefits the party or its donors. Anyway, in an attempt to both get books to readers and replace some of that convention revenue, I’m running a sale on my Etsy shop until October 3rd for 25% off your order total on any order of $20 or more. If you were planning to stop by at Edmonton Expo, head over to the shop and grab the books you were looking for!

Next Week: The Real Break Room/Revolutionary Headquarters. Read it early on Patreon!

Tetris Must Be Destroyed

Why yes, this strip title (and the line it is referencing) IS a reference to GWAR’s “America Must Be Destroyed.” Those of you who have been around for a while will not be surprised at all that the guy who drew an entire comic based on a GWAR reference which led to him drawing an official GWAR comic would continue to make GWAR references. Have I said GWAR enough? GWAR.

EDMONTON EXPO UPDATE: I was going to be doing my first convention appearance in 2 years at Edmonton Expo in October, but that has since been cancelled due to the Alberta provincial government’s complete inability to do anything for the public good unless it benefits the party or its donors. Anyway, in an attempt to both get books to readers and replace some of that convention revenue, I’m running a sale on my Etsy shop until October 3rd for 25% off your order total on any order of $20 or more. If you were planning to stop by at Edmonton Expo, head over to the shop and grab the books you were looking for!

EMPLOYEE OF THE WEEK:

Azhar Baig is Employee of the Week, and has a podcast called The Wisdom of Love that you should check out. It’s a comedic recounting of the Great Western Philosophers. You, too, can support Hell, Inc. on Patreon, and also read my new graphic novel, Hockeypocalypse: Slashers, as I draw it!

You can also help Hell, Inc. by voting for it on Top Webcomics! You can do that daily by clicking on the banner below!

Next Week: B.L. Zebub’s anti-Tetris rampage. Read it early on Patreon!

Nothing to See Here

Sometimes I re-read old pages and am pleased that a page I forgot about has storytelling that I think really holds up. This is the kind of strip that isn’t attempting to replicate film but is using the storytelling elements that are unique to comics, like the sequence of thought balloons following Sara’s thought process. This has been another installment of “the creator forgot what he drew, but it turns out he likes the stuff he makes. Funny, that.”

EMPLOYEE OF THE WEEK:

Christine Bennett, better known as Purple Pony Art, is Employee of the Week! Perhaps I will see them at Edmonton Expo in October, and perhaps I will see YOU there. If not, perhaps I will see you on the Hell, Inc. Patreon, where I’m serializing Hockeypocalypse: Slashers to pay bills while I draw it. It’s how I get money so that I don’t need to take freelance jobs and do conventions (which I am simultaneously looking forward to and terrified of).

You can help Hell, Inc. be more visible to webcomic readers by voting for it on Top Webcomics! Click on the banner below to vote daily!

Next Week: I don’t understand her level of passion for the topic, but you love to see it! See it early on Patreon!

Puzzled

Happy Labour Day, workers of the Hell, Inc. audience. As always, I support using Hell, Inc. to steal company time like they’re stealing your time, so make sure to use your “settling back in” time on Tuesday morning for some catch-up or an archive binge.

EMPLOYEE OF THE WEEK:

Sebastian is Employee of the Week, and was also Employee of the Week last time I posted a comic on a holiday Monday, which is a strange bit of chance. I don’t know how to transition from that to Patreon stuff, but you can get Hockeypocalypse: Slashers as I draw it AND access to over a thousand pages of other comics, including the previous Hockeypocalypse books, for $5 a month on Patreon and ALSO help support me, the creator of said comics, because apparently humans need money to live. It’s a real bummer, that need for money to live.

You can also help Hell, Inc. by voting for it on Top Webcomics! It’s early in the month, so votes are worth even more as the rankings reset and each vote has more power to move a comic up the rankings.

Next Week: Suspicions are… whatever suspicion as a verb is. Read it early on Patreon!

Ambient Misery

For the first time since December, 2019, I sold some books at an event. Over a year and a half. I was helping Caitlin sell soap at an event called Wholly Handmade, and brought some books along at her suggestion, as well as promo materials for Hell, Inc. To those of you who discovered the comic by meeting me at the show, welcome!

EMPLOYEE OF THE WEEK:

Jillian Dolan, artist of Kyle the Nihilist Dinosaur, Misha, and other delightful comics, is Employee of the Week! She has access to Hockeypocalypse: Slashers, my new graphic novel, which is being serialized on Patreon as I draw it! We’re up to page 24 as of this post, and they’re some of the best pages I’ve ever drawn. The first 5 pages are available on Patreon for free, and the rest are unlocked by donating at the $5 and up tiers. So go do that.

You can help out Hell, Inc. by voting for it on Top Webcomics, which results in better placement on the rankings and visibility to webcomic readers. Votes early in the month are worth more as the rankings reset, so click on the banner below to vote daily!

Next Week: A puzzling lack of ambient misery. Read it early on Patreon!

Hell, Inc. and the Deathly Silence

Hell, Inc. and the Deathly Silence will also be adapted into two movies, but the creator won’t use their Twitter account to be a gigantic piece of shit. Why, you ask? Because if I get two movies worth of Hollywood money, my Twitter account will entirely consist of me posting art and weird thoughts that make me sound high but I’m not, my brain is just like that. So like it is now except without the parts where I have to promote things like a chump.

EMPLOYEE OF THE WEEK:

Robbie Dorman is Employee of the Week, and is co-host of The Simpsons Show, the only podcast about The Simpsons. You should also follow him on Twitter to learn about his new novel releases. You should ALSO check out the Hell, Inc. Patreon, which is currently host to my new graphic novel, Hockeypocalypse: Slashers. I’m posting 3-4 pages per week for patrons at the $5/month and up levels. You get to help me have an income while I draw the book AND you’ll get a printed copy in the mail when they’re ready! So go support your favourite cartoonist for the cost of a coffee.

You can help more people see Hell, Inc. by voting for it on Top Webcomics, which is the biggest of the various webcomic ranking websites. Click on the banner below to vote daily!

Next Week: Look, sometimes going outside leads to some exciting opportunities to conspire. Read it early on Patreon!

Deflated

Despite being vaccinated and being able to go out and do stuff a little bit more, I’m still spending most of my time at home drawing Hockeypocalypse: Slashers and painting plastic orcs. Which, honestly, is pretty ideal for me, other than the times when my brain screams at me for not chasing freelance work as hard as possible because the projects I really care about never seem to be the ones that let me being a contributing member of my household. But other than the brain-screaming… pretty good!

EMPLOYEE OF THE WEEK:

Brien Aronov is Employee of the Week, and has access to several pages of Hockeypocalypse: Slashers per week as I draw them! I am extremely proud of the work I’m doing on this book, but I need more help so that I can produce it without having to take on extra freelance work to keep paying my mortgage. For $5 a month you can see 12-15 pages of the new book as I draw it, AND get a print copy mailed to you when it’s ready! Support Hockeypocalypse, and also Hell, Inc., on Patreon!

You can also help out by boosting Hell, Inc.’s visibility on Top Webcomics. Click on the banner below to vote daily!

Next Week: Everyone loves taking a break from work to do other work, then going back and doing the original work during your off-time, right? Right? Read it early on Patreon!

Professional Sit-Downers

As I age, the effects of being a professional sit-downer have become more noticeable, and I don’t like it. I’m sure at some point I will become a gnarled cartooning golem that requires some sort of medical professional to straighten back out on a semi-regular basis.

EMPLOYEE OF THE WEEK:

New employee Anthony has come on board for the exciting new development on the Patreon, the serialization of Hockeypocalypse: Slashers! It’s my new graphic novel, which patrons will get to read as I draw it. Then, when it’s printed, they’ll be getting a physical copy in the mail! You can read the first five pages for free – if you like it, sign up at the $5 or above tier! Patreon is also my only predictable income at the moment, so I would really appreciate it if you help support my new personal book project so I don’t have to scrounge for freelance work!

If you want to help out Hell, Inc., vote for it on Top Webcomics! The higher the comic gets in the rankings, the more potential new readers are exposed to it.

Next Week: Some situations just make you deflate like an empty balloon, y’know? Read it early on Patreon!

Punishment Delivery

It’s ideal when you don’t have a plan but then some force beyond your control solves your problems for you.

EMPLOYEE OF THE WEEK:

Joe Amon is Employee of the Week, and because he pledges at the $5 tier he’ll have access to Hockeypocalypse: Slashers. I’m serializing my next graphic novel, a YA horror story about mutant hockey players in post-apocalypse Canada, 2-4 pages per week on Patreon! When it’s done and printed, $5 and up patrons will be getting copies in the mail!

Voting on Top Webcomics is also helpful, especially early in the month when the rankings reset. Click the banner below to vote daily!

Next Week: People who sit down all the time are excellent pack mules. Read it early on Patreon!