Satan Give Me Health Insurance

I feel like Satan Give Me Health Insurance merch might do really well. Thoughts? Is that something you’d be interested in? I’ve been kicking around a bunch of ideas for Hell, Inc. merch, but I haven’t been able to get a good handle on what I think people would actually want. In art-related news, the third panel was a nightmare to colour. There are at least three layers of different shades of green creating the miasma of horrors that is B.L. Zebub’s computer usage.

EMPLOYEE OF THE WEEK:

Joe Amon is Employee of the Week! Please make good use of the Employee of the Week parking spot. If you want to be Employee of the Week, or just help add some stability to my financial health, which allows me to do the comic, donate to the Hell, Inc. Patreon page.

As always, supporting Hell, Inc. for free is also appreciated – go upvote Hell, Inc. on Top Webcomics. Readership has expanded substantially since the comic has been on Top Webcomics, and that all comes from your votes boosting it up the rankings for better visibility.

Next Week: Gas leak. Read it early by supporting Hell, Inc. on Patreon!

Comedy

Writing Steve’s dialogue is the best. THE BEST, JERRY, THE BEST.

EMPLOYEE OF THE WEEK:

We’re back at the top of the cycle with Cait, and the hope that more of you spend your corporate slave bucks over at the Hell, Inc. Patreon, where there will be free comics mailed out when we hit the 20 Patron mark. Also, it increases my amount of predictable income, which is kind of useful for the whole “continuing to survive” thing. Do it.

Or vote for Hell, Inc. on Top Webcomics, which has been pretty huge in terms of site traffic. It’s free, and you can do it every 24 hours. More votes = more new readers = good for everyone!

Next Week: You’re a horrible monster. Patrons aren’t, so they get to find out what that means a week early.

The Chase

And now, this week’s REAL comic, after yesterday’s April Fools post. You can see the stylistic changes pretty clearly. Aside from the obvious addition of colour, the shapes are a lot more defined and polished.

I also had to be a lot more inventive with the panel layout, since the traditional nine panel grid doesn’t really translate to a strip. The nine panel grid is really ideal for this kind of moment, though, because it has such a strong feeling of moment-to-moment continuity. It’s like a film camera cutting from shot to shot rapidly.

EMPLOYEE OF THE WEEK:
Brien Aronov is Employee of the Week! Things over at the Hell, Inc. Patreon are getting a revamp over the next month or so, partly because I learned that post scheduling was an option. Check out the page to see the first Guintern Newsletter and learn about my office guinea pigs and their perspectives on the business of cartooning. Patreon helps me take less freelance work, which means more time spent focusing on the comics you’re already interested in – it’s pretty much a win-win situation. If everyone who read the comic yesterday threw in a buck, it would cover my mortgage payment. That’s how big of a difference it can make.

Want to help out, but can’t afford to contribute to the Patreon? I get it, late capitalism sucks. So here’s a new, FREE way to help boost Hell, Inc.’s readership and help it stay viable! Click on the banner below to vote for Hell, Inc. on the Top Webcomics list. The farther up the rankings Hell, Inc. gets, the more traffic gets driven to the comic. You can vote once per day, so check it out!

Next Week: We return to the normal Monday update, and Doug returns to the loving embrace of the Hellevator. Patrons can read it early!

Canadian Standoff

This strip turned out exactly how I imagined it when I was writing it. It was also WAY harder to draw than I thought it would be. I don’t know why, nothing about it was particularly difficult from a technical standpoint. Well, that’s not true – doing effects on the shot through the glass door in panel 2 was pretty labour-intensive.

EMPLOYEE OF THE WEEK:

Joe Amon is Employee of the Week! He gets the fancy parking space next to the door. There’s going to be a bit of a revamp coming to the Patreon, as I endeavour to provide more value and some neat interactivity. If you’ve ever wanted to be drawn into a comic, maybe keep an eye on that. More on that next month, when that stuff starts being rolled out. Or just sign up now and give a few bucks to a corporate overlord that will actually notice it!

Next Week: The best chase since Bullitt. See it early on Patreon.

Toast

The other day I was re-watching Invader Zim and saw Professor Membrane’s dramatic “I’m making… TOAST!” introduction, which posting this immediately reminded me of. Because all jokes about toast are connected in the Toast Continuum.

Also, this is several hours later than normal because apparently ECCC prep just means my brain is screaming with stress at all times and every thing I realize I have to do bumps out some other thing I need to do, because apparently running a business where I also make all the products is too much for my mind to handle. Oh, and I’ve spent a good six hours trying to fix Adobe Illustrator, which decided to not work anymore. Cool. Coolcoolcool.

EMPLOYEE OF THE WEEK:

We’re back at the start of the rotation with Cait of the North. Follow her on Twitter, where she is better at promoting my comics than I am. What, putting the guy who just wants to stay at home and draw cartoon pictures all the time in charge of marketing is, perhaps, not a great business move? I don’t know what you’re talking about. You know what IS a great business move? Supporting Hell, Inc. on Patreon. It keeps me, the dumbass artist, from having to do actual business shit all the time. Instead, I can make more comics to entertain you. So, Patreon. Go do it.

Shredder Sans Mutagen

Looking through the uploaded files to attach the right one made me realize that I’ve got the next month’s worth of comics done already. I haven’t had a buffer that hefty in a few months, especially during the Hockeypocalypse Kickstarter. It’s nice.

This page got a re-write while I was doing the thumbnail, because I had written a placeholder joke into the last panel and then forgot to go back and write a better punchline. I hadn’t decided how Doug was going to imagine himself killing Steve, but once I decided on an oversized shredder it let me replace the placeholder punchline with something that actually made sense. The placeholder was pretty non-sequitur, which, while I often enjoy those kinds of jokes, I don’t think work particularly well in comics. Semi-relatedly, I just saw a film at a local horror convention (shoutout to Dead By Con) that really beat non-sequiturs to death as a way to skirt issues that came up during production, which has likely lowered my opinion of non-sequiturs for the moment.

EMPLOYEE OF THE WEEK:

Robbie Dorman is Employee of the Week! He’s the host of the Simpsons Show and Serial Fanatacist podcasts, which you should go listen to. Being deeply influenced by the Simpsons as well, I support his taste in podcast topics. He also has a Patreon, perhaps consider throwing him a few bucks as well, yes? CORPORATE SYNERGY. If you want to get in on the corporate synergy, support the Hell, Inc. Patreon so I can keep using the corporate gold card.

Next Week: A real meeting of the minds. Read it early by supporting Hell, Inc. on Patreon!

Sleeve Time

This is a variation of a scene from the Hell, Inc. #2 print comic, except it looks good, because I am much better at drawing now than I was in 2010 or whenever that was. Doug and B.L. Zebub’s relationship is my favourite thing in the comic, because I love writing them together. Zebub being on weird, dumb power trips all the time and Doug just casually pointing out that they don’t make any sense is satisfying – it’s all the stuff you never actually say out loud to your dumb boss.

EMPLOYEE OF THE WEEK:

Sylvia Douglas is Employee of the Week, but she’d like you to employ her partner, Corinne Simpson, as your part-time virtual assistant! If  you want to get a shout-out, or just like Hell, Inc. and want it to stay financially viable, support the Hell, Inc. Patreon! Maybe I’ll be able to hire Corinne to do all of the day-to-day administrative junk that I hate!

Next Week: Fantasizing about murder. Read it early on Patreon!

Training Day

It’s like that Denzel Washington movie, but without all of the grit and intensity and commentary on society. Wait, no, it’s got that last thing. Not the first two, though. I also pushed my colouring in this strip, as I played around with some layering of colours in the last panel to try to match the image I was seeing in my head. I think that’s going to be an area I focus on for growth – I think there’s a lot more I can do with colouring if I can keep learning and experimenting.

Training the intern as a punishment comes directly from my time working at Blockbuster Video (remember those, kids?). My manager didn’t want to train somebody, so I had to do it, and it was awful. It wasn’t even supposed to be a punishment, I was just the only other person around at the time who wasn’t legally still a child. Even on a point-of-sale system that wouldn’t allow you to screw up, she FOUND WAYS. I eventually ended up writing the step-by-step instructions on a strip of receipt paper, taping them to her till, and refusing to answer questions if the answer was on that paper.

EMPLOYEE OF THE WEEK:

Happy Harbor Comics/Wonderland Games! There’s been a seismic shift in the Edmonton comics community since the last time HH was Employee of the Week, and soon I’ll be shouting out Wonderland Games, who have taken over. It’s been a whole thing. There was a farewelcome party there recently, with a lot of entertainment and a bassist who gave a speech that made a bunch of people cry. If you want to be Employee of the Week and have something plugged/a rambling anecdote told about you, support Hell, Inc. on Patreon. It’s better than funneling your entertainment dollar into the pockets of billionaires who won’t even notice. Rest assured, I will NOTICE THE FUCK OUT OF IT. And also spend it on things like “making more comics” and “remaining alive.”

Next Week: B.L. Zebub is the world’s fastest demon, maybe? Read it early by supporting Hell, Inc. on Patreon.

His Brain Screamed

Between the Royal Rumble on Sunday and the farewell/welcome party for Happy Harbor Comics/Wonderland Games on Saturday, I have had A WEEKEND. I also had a bit of a rush to get my Match of the Year ballot in for Voices of Wrestling’s annual poll, although that is far less relevant in these newsposts than it was when I was drawing HEAT.

I guess what I’m saying is that I’m very tired. But, work phone calls tomorrow! Oh, wait, that… isn’t going to help, is it?

EMPLOYEE OF THE WEEK:

Brien Aronov is the Employee of the Week, and I still don’t have enough information to tell you anything interesting in this space, so instead I’m wondering if anyone actually reads these newsposts? I kind of want to just make up some wild shit and see if anyone notices. Support Hell, Inc. on Patreon to guarantee that you get into Heaven. If you die and don’t go to Heaven, your money back!

Next Week: I can’t remember, because I haven’t drawn it yet! When I do, Hell, Inc. patrons will be able to see it first!

The Word is Butts

The word is always butts. I will regularly lean over to my girlfriend and whisper “buuuuuutts” just to amuse myself, because butts is an inherently funny word. I think it’s why “ass” gets used so much now – it’s hard to say “butts” without making something funny.

EMPLOYEE OF THE WEEK:

Joe Amon is Employee of the Week! He doesn’t have anything for me to link as a plug, so instead I’ll just say that if you enjoy Hell, Inc. consider pledging to the Hell, Inc. Patreon. Even a dollar or two is useful in keeping the lights on around here (power bills in Hell are ridiculous, you guys). You can even get a shoutout as Employee of the Week, or a ton of digital comics at a huge discount.

Next Week: The Boss can’t use his office, so that’s going to be good for everyone else. Read it early on Patreon.