Be the Cockatrice Butt

I don’t know why I’ve been going really crazy with backgrounds lately, but I definitely have. As I type this, I’m taking a break from colouring a scene that is even more full of stuff. Also, I’m typing this several days before it goes up, because when it’s live, I’ll be on the first vacation I’ve taken in 14 years. COMICS, EVERYONE.

EMPLOYEE OF THE WEEK:

Joe Amon is Employee of the Week! If you, like Joe, think Hell, Inc. is worth a dollar, kick that dollar over to the Hell, Inc. Patreon, which helps finance things like “my mortgage payments” and “drawing this comic instead of hunting for freelance jobs.” You can get rewards like early access to Hell, Inc. strips and EVERY DIGITAL COMIC I’VE EVER MADE (that I’m not legally prevented from offering as a Patreon reward). So go do that.

You can also help Hell, Inc. by voting for it on Top Webcomics, which has been the best source for bringing in new readers to the comic. Click the banner below to vote!

Next Week: Helen’s priorities are very well-defined. Find out what they are by supporting Hell, Inc. on Patreon.

Vital Knowledge

For a comic that was originally intended to test how fast I could draw a strip from blank page to finished letters, I’ve sure started spending a lot of time drawing backgrounds. This isn’t even that absurd an example of them – there are some pages in upcoming weeks where I spent as much time drawing one background as I did the rest of the strip.

EMPLOYEE OF THE WEEK:

Damion is Employee of the Week, and you can too! If you think Hell, Inc. is worth a buck, donate to the Hell, Inc. Patreon and help keep the lights on around here. As I post this, I’m sitting around waiting for a freelance gig to start so I can get my next paycheque, and I have NO IDEA when that will be! Could be tomorrow, could be October. The Patreon gives me, an artist, a predictable income, which is invaluable to me, and also to the bank, to whom I pay my mortgage.

If you can’t afford the Patreon because capitalism has crushed the value of your labour, vote for Hell, Inc. on Top Webcomics. It’s been the best way to gain new readers (and potential Patreon patrons) thus far, and voting is free! Click on the banner below.

Next Week: Butt-based comedy is the best kind of comedy. Read it early on Patreon!

If I Don’t Laugh, I’ll Cry

This is one of several recent strips where I was sure I had written way too much dialogue and it would never fit, then when I sat down to letter it I had plenty of space. That’s something that tends to happen every so often with comics that I letter digitally. Even using old strips as a guideline, there’s some guesswork involved in how much space the lettering will occupy. It’s much better to overestimate the lettering than underestimate it, though. There’s nothing quite as demoralizing as trying to rewrite text so that it fits into a much-too-small space.

Before we get to Employee of the Week, Hell, Inc. has been nominated for an award! Well, sort of. I was nominated for an award and it happened to be for my work on Hell, Inc. (and also GWAR). You can vote for me in the Favourite Cartoonist category here: http://bit.ly/smavote2019

EMPLOYEE OF THE WEEK:

Cait is Employee of the Week! You should go buy her short story collection, Dead Man’s Candle and Other Short Horror Stories, which is available for purchase as well as on Kindle Unlimited. It was produced as part of a writing challenge in October, and Dead Man’s Candle collects her favourite 13 of the 31 stories written during that challenge.

If you think Hell, Inc. is worth a dollar, you can help support my cartooning endeavours by donating to Hell, Inc. on Patreon. Patrons get to read every Hell, Inc. strip a week early, can get a shoutout as Employee of the Week, or even get access to a folder with every digital comic I’ve produced. There are THIRTY-ONE (31) comics in there right now, including the PDF versions of the print collections of Hell, Inc. that were funded on Kickstarter last year.

If you want to help Hell, Inc. get new readers, click on the banner below to vote for it on Top Webcomics! Votes early in the month are worth more as the standings reset. You can vote once a day!

Next Week: Harry imparts some vital knowledge. Does it finally answer Sara’s question? Find out early on Patreon.

Potato?

Doug is me doing my Pure Math 30 exam in high school. For non-Canadians who were in high school in the early 2000s, that’s the academic stream of grade 12 math. I sure wish somebody would have told me that I didn’t need it for university and wouldn’t need it in any capacity in the future. Turns out you don’t need pre-calculus to calculate book dimensions and figure out how much money you need to raise on Kickstarter.

EMPLOYEE OF THE WEEK:

Since the rotation is re-setting, and it’s my birthday on Friday, I’m going to pull rank and make myself Employee of the Week. That’s right, I have that power. I will plug Hell, Inc. on Webtoon, so if you like to read your comics in that format, subscribe to Hell, Inc.! There are more people leaving comments there than here, so you can also chat with other readers that way. If you think what I’m doing with Hell, Inc. is worth a dollar, support Hell, Inc. on Patreon. It’s how I pay for things like “web hosting” and, moreover, “my mortgage payments.” That second one requires a lot more freelance work than I would like, and every little bit from readers cuts down the amount of time I have to spend freelancing.

And of course, not everyone can afford to throw a few bucks at their favourite webcartoonist. Or me. But you can throw a few new readers my way by A) telling your friends to read the comic and B) voting for Hell, Inc. on Top Webcomics, which is the largest platform through which Hell, Inc. gets new readers. Click the banner to vote!

Next Week: If I don’t laugh, I’ll cry! Also there’s a new comic next week, I don’t remember what it’s about. OR DO I? This is a weird bit I’m doing here, just go support the Patreon.

Butt Fusion

After typing in the title for this strip, all I can think of is a version of the DBZ fusion dance where they touch butts at the end.

In other Hell, Inc. news, I’m almost done writing what will be Hell, Inc. book 3. I haven’t decided on a plan for releasing that one in print, yet. It will be printed at some point, but I haven’t decided whether it will be in the spring or if I’ll wait until book 4 is ready and do them together like I did for volumes 1 and 2. I haven’t really had much opportunity to sell books 1 and 2 outside of the Kickstarter, so it’s hard to gauge what the better move is. Incidentally, if you want to buy copies of books 1 and 2 and motivate me to get the next book out faster, that’s a thing you can do. And you SHOULD do it.

EMPLOYEE OF THE WEEK:

Cindy Gauthier is Employee of the Week, and you’ll be able to see both of us in meat space at Dead by Con, Edmonton’s horror convention. I expect it will be a very fun time and that Caitlin will buy a lot of DVDs again for a buck or two each. If you think Hell, Inc. is worth a buck or two, support me on Patreon, because that’s my only predictable form of income each month. The rest of my money comes from freelancing and selling books, which is WILDLY INCONSISTENT.

And of course, not everyone can afford to throw a few bucks at their favourite webcartoonist. Or me. But you can throw a few new readers my way by A) telling your friends to read the comic and B) voting for Hell, Inc. on Top Webcomics, which is the largest platform through which Hell, Inc. gets new readers. Click the banner to vote!

Next Week: Math is hard, okay? Find out why Doug is bad at math now on Patreon.

Visions of Horror and Tetris

In the black and white Hell, Inc. comics, which some of you have copies of due to the Kickstarter for the print books, Slava installing the spreadsheet Tetris game comes much sooner after his introduction. Also it’s an entire book earlier, which is a BIT of a difference. Incidentally, for those who might be newer readers, we’re currently in the middle of what will end up being the third print book.

I’d also like to dedicate this strip to the memory of guintern Boo, who passed on Friday. She was a vital part of our operation here at Hell, Inc., and will be missed.

EMPLOYEE OF THE WEEK:

Robbie Dorman, host of The Simpsons Show podcast, is this week’s Employee of the Week. I’m listening to an episode of The Simpsons Show as I type this update! You should, too. It’s very good. If you think Hell, Inc. is worth a dollar, you should give said dollar(s) to the Hell, Inc. Patreon, because that helps keep things running over here. Money: I need it to live.

As always, not everyone can afford to give their favourite artists money. But everyone can afford to give them clicks! Click on the banner below to vote for Hell, Inc. on Top Webcomics, which is the number one source for driving new readers to the site.

NEXT WEEK: Butt Talk with B.L. Zebub. It’s not as gross as it sounds. Read it early on Patreon!

The Pain of Comedy

I don’t know why I decided that Steve was a sweaty demon boi, but I did, and it’s canon now.

ALSO! Fun fact, Hell, Inc. is available on the Webtoon app now! It’s starting back at page 1, but it’ll be updated at a faster rate (daily for the first week, then 2 per week after that) until it catches up to the main site. If you prefer to read your comics on the Webtoon app, subscribe to Hell, Inc. on there.

EMPLOYEE OF THE WEEK:

Sylvia Douglas is the Employee of the Week, and made a movie called Without in 2019, which you can all learn more about on her website. If you think what I do here on Hell, Inc. is worth a dollar, support the Hell, Inc. Patreon and YOU TOO can be Employee of the Week. At $2 or more, you enter the recurring rotation of Employees of the Week. Do it, I don’t have any work lined up in the foreseeable future that isn’t pitching projects to see if maybe they get picked up.

If you can’t afford to support the Patreon because capitalism sucks, click on the link below to vote for Hell, Inc. on Top Webcomics and help bring new readers to the comic.

Next Week: Visions of horror and also Tetris. Read it early on Patreon.

Skyrocketed

I have definitely had the thought “your value to me has suddenly skyrocketed” when having conversations with people within my industry/at functions. I think everyone has, at some point. That moment when talking to a new person when you realize they have some skill or interest or relationship that gets the gears in your brain turning, trying to figure out how to use that in some sort of collaboration. No? Just me?

EMPLOYEE OF THE WEEK:

Damion is Employee of the Week, and hasn’t sent anything for me to shout out. But YOU can send me something to shout out, and I’ll do it on a regular basis if if you support the Hell, Inc. Patreon. Do you think what I do on this comic is worth a dollar? Then chip in on the Patreon! It helps me avoid doing things like I’ve been doing for the past few weeks, where I develop pitches for specific publishers to try to convince them that people want to buy it.

If you can’t afford to support the Patreon, I get it. But you CAN help out for FREE by voting for Hell, Inc. on Top Webcomics and helping drive new readers to the site.

Next Week: Next week’s comic is property of the Hell, Inc. Mandatory Athletics Department. Read it early on Patreon!

How We Do Things Here

AKA Hell, Inc. strip #100! It simultaneously feels like we should have hit number one hundred a while ago and like the comic just started. By strip 200, there will be material for FIVE Hell, Inc. print books if I keep the current length static. Madness.

EMPLOYEE OF THE WEEK:

Caitlin aka 95 Percent Coffee aka the only reason my Twitter gets updated with anything related to my art and isn’t exclusively used for talking about sports and movies I watched. If there were an actual Employee of the Week award, she would probably win it once all of the guinea pigs and chinchillas had gotten their turn. Also, she has a book coming out on Friday, so you should pre-order that. It’s a collection of 13 short horror stories, including some that were featured on the Drunk in a Graveyard podcast. Also, support Hell, Inc. on Patreon because it would be cool to have more money that isn’t reliant on stumping for freelance work.

It would also be cool if more people read Hell, Inc., and you can help with that by upvoting it on Top Webcomics. So please go do that.

Next Week: Lies beget career advancement and social capital. Read it early on Patreon!

Promotions

Doug is very good at office politics. VERY GOOD.

EMPLOYEE OF THE WEEK:

Cindy Gauthier is the Employee of the Week. She also draws things, so you should check out her work, including her debut comic Posthumous. If you want to be Employee of the Week and get a shout-out in an upcoming comic post, Check out the Hell, Inc. Patreon. It helps keep me drawing Hell, Inc. strips instead of being buried in freelance work, which is a win-win for everybody. Specifically, people who like reading these comics and me.

As always, if you’d like to support Hell, Inc. but capitalism has squeezed all of your spare cash out of you, you can vote for Hell, Inc. on Top Webcomics! Top Webcomics has been the best resource for gaining new readers, and more votes = more new readers seeing the comic! Click the banner below to vote!

Next Week: Technical terms. Read it early on Patreon!