The real punishment drink is the fried chicken flavoured vodka that Cait and I made many years ago and inflicted on our friends. She was making infused vodkas, and asked me for flavour suggestions. My attempt to discourage that by making a purposely terrible suggestion backfired, as my bluff was called and we used KFC chicken skin to infuse vodka with fried chicken flavour. Now, that sounds awful. But it kinda wasn’t? It tasted like KFC chicken. Which is not really what you want in a drink, but when you expect it to be poison and it just tastes like chicken? Pretty okay. Several of Cait’s friends swore revenge after drinking it, though, which was just uproariously funny to me. If you’re told “this tastes like fried chicken and vodka. If you do not want that, do not try this,” then you try it and overact your displeasure like you’re in a Troma film, I WILL laugh at you. And I did. A lot.
Now that I think about it, fried chicken flavoured liquor seems like it’s in the ballpark of things that would be served at O’Hellihan’s.
Azhar Baig is Employee of the Week, and has a podcast called The Wisdom of Love that you should check out. It’s a comedic recounting of the Great Western Philosophers. He also supports Hell, Inc. on Patreon, which you should do, too, because it’s my most predictable source of income! I need income to do things like “buy food” and “pay my mortgage” and “keep my pets in their preferred spherical shape.” Which is just buying food, but not for me, I suppose. Anyway, Patreon.
Next Week: Hey, drink this blue stuff. It’ll probably be fine. Or you’ll vomit out your skeleton. Either way, it can be read early on Patreon!