Drag Me to Hell (from Elsewhere in Hell)

Having just lettered a later page in the series (the as-yet-untitled strip #134) and completely botched the balloon spacing to the point that I had to change font sizes to make things fit, I have no idea how I managed to leave the exact right amount of space in the last panel of this strip. Spacing weird balloons like that is much harder than spacing the normal ones, and somehow I got that one right.

EMPLOYEE OF THE WEEK:

Welcome new Employee of the Week, Christine! Christine is the artist behind Purple Pony Art, and is among the folks to have access to Hell, Inc. Volume 3: Team-Building Excercise well before the general populace! As a special thanks to the Patrons who are supplying my only income during the COVID crisis, the third Hell, Inc. book will be available to all Patrons at every support level. It won’t be made available otherwise until the next Kickstarter (for books 3 and 4). If you want to help support Hell, Inc., head over to the Patreon. Every dollar helps (a lot), and during quarantine/social-distancing all patrons will receive a Dropbox link with over a thousand pages of comics to pass the quarantime.

You can also vote for Hell, Inc. on Top Webcomics, which is the largest source of new readers for the site. More votes = more readers, so please do that.

Next Week: The floor is lava! Kind of literally! Read it early on Patreon!

Princess of Hell

This was a “I think I wrote too much dialogue, but managed to fit it all in without ruining the art anyway” strip. They happen once in a while, and are usually the result of me not realizing while I’m writing that I should have broken a strip into two. A rule of thumb I tend to like for that is by counting the number of bubbles on the page – if I get past 7, I need to think about splitting the strip into two and punching up the mid-strip joke to carry a strip. Do people like it when I ramble about technical stuff like this? I don’t know, but you could tell me!

EMPLOYEE OF THE WEEK:

Welcome new Employee of the Week Sebastian, who has joined up just in time for the new Patreon promotion – book 3! That’s right, as I announced late last week, Hell, Inc. Volume 3 – Team-Building Exercise, is finished, and is going to be available exclusively to patrons while we’re stuck at home due to COVID-19. I can’t do a lot to make your time in self-isolation better, but what I can do, I will! It includes a six page short story that will only be available in the book, so check that out. Patrons at any level will be able to download their own PDF copy at their leisure.

Patreon is the only source of income at the moment, so every dollar helps me AND gets you a copy of not only volume 3, but access to over 1000 pages of other comics I’ve worked on! If you dig Hell, Inc. and think it’s worth a dollar, I’d really appreciate it!

You can also help out by visiting Top Webcomics and voting for Hell, Inc., which exposes it to new readers and thus new potential patrons. You can vote once per day by clicking the banner below!

Next Week: Doug’s DIY Bouncer Service. Read it early by supporting Hell, Inc. on Patreon!

They’ll Find a Way to Kill Her Again

As patrons have already seen, a lot of the inspiration for the amount of physical mayhem that happens to Sara is a quote from Matt Groening on a Futurama DVD commentary. He was talking about how, on the Simpsons, all of the physical comedy happens to Bart and Homer, and with Futurama he wanted to see if it would still work if it happened to a female character, which led to Amy being very clumsy and accident-prone.

EMPLOYEE OF THE WEEK:

Cait is Employee of the Week, and we’re actually in adjacent offices now, sort of. My desk is in the living room, and we’ve set up a telework office for her in the spare bedroom (or Nerd Shit Room, as we call it, because it is where we keep a large amount of our nerd shit. It’s like 80% Warhammer books by volume). I’d also like to thank the folks who have signed up for the Patreon during the COVID crisis, because that and my webstore are the only way I’m making money right now, and YIKES that is a bad time. Seriously, if you like Hell, Inc., and have a dollar to donate to the Patreon, please do. Pandemics are a bad time to be an independent artist, WHO KNEW?

Vote. Top Webcomics. Do it. It’s how I get more readers and keep this thing chugging along. Click the banner.

NEXT WEEK: Oh, look who thinks they’re the princess of Hell! Read it early on Patreon!

First Responders

“I mean, we’ve put in a small amount of effort, what more can we do!?” – Bridget and Steve.

This update is later in the day than normal, because the COVID social distancing situation has led me to struggle even more with knowing what day it is, especially now that Caitlin works from home. Every day is just kinda the same.

EMPLOYEE OF THE WEEK:

Welcome another new employee, Laurel! If you think Hell, Inc. is worth a dollar, head over to the Patreon and help keep things going. COVID has pretty much destroyed my income for March and April, which were reliant on going out into the public and selling things. As an added incentive, all patrons are going to have access to the digital comics library for the duration of the COVID crisis, which includes well over a thousand pages of comics that I’ve drawn, and bonus appearances by one of my favourite cartoonists, Lukasz Kowalczuk! So check that out, you will not find a better deal.

You can also help Hell, Inc. by voting on Top Webcomics. The comic is pretty highly ranked this month, and that’s helping to bring in new readers and keep more folks self-isolated without losing their minds. Click on the banner below to vote.

NEXT WEEK: Maybe customers retching on the floor is not ideal for the restaurant staff? Read it a week early on Patreon.

Shots, Shots Shotsshotsshots

I don’t know exactly when Helen became that middle-aged white lady who pretends wine is a personality, but she’s become way more interesting as a result. Which also means she’ll pop up more frequently, because that happens every time I figure out how I want to write a character.

EMPLOYEE OF THE WEEK:

Welcome new employee Jillian Dolan! She is the artist of Kyle the Nihilist Dinosaur, Misha, and other comics! You should go check them out, they’re great. Jillian was the first new patron to take advantage of my COVID boredness-relief effort – all patrons will receive a link to a Dropbox folder with every digital comic I’ve produced that I have redistribution rights for. There are roughly 1,150 pages of comics in there, with more added every time I have a new book or short story released. It’s an ideal way to get a lot of material to read and also support your favourite artist who suddenly has no conventions or book fairs (aka a large amount of my income) for the foreseeable future. So if you think Hell, Inc. and over a thousand pages of other things I’ve drawn are worth a few bucks, hit up the Hell, Inc. Patreon and you’ll have a folder of comics within 24 hours. It will be VERY appreciated.

You can also help Hell, Inc. by voting on Top Webcomics. The comic is pretty highly ranked this month, and that’s helping to bring in new readers and keep more folks self-isolated without losing their minds. Click on the banner below to vote.

Next Week: Hell’s best crisis management team. Read it early on Patreon!

Sweaty Steve

Steve is me after I play sports. The sweating starts early and ends… never. It never ends. I look like I’ve been in a rain storm before I’m even tired.

EMPLOYEE OF THE WEEK:

Cindy Gauthier is Employee of the Week, and you did not come to see us at Dead By Con last weekend, because it was postponed due to COVID-19. Incidentally, most of my expected income for the month was from events and appearances, which are now postponed/canceled, so if you think Hell, Inc. is worth a buck or two, support me on Patreon, because that’s my only predictable form of income each month. The rest of my money comes from freelancing and selling books, which is WILDLY INCONSISTENT even without the goddamn plague.

Vote. Top Webcomics. Do it. It’s how I get more readers and keep this thing chugging along. Click the banner.

Next Week: Shots, shots shotsshotsshots. Read it early on Patreon!

Arms Like Noodles

I rewatched some Invader Zim a while ago, and was surprised at how much of it held up. I was afraid that it would be too LOLrandom upon revisiting it, but it turns out that’s just what gets quoted most of the time. I’m sure that show definitely had an influence on my joke writing style, which involves a lot of weird phrases designed to make what would otherwise be a normal scene funnier. So of course that’s what I’m writing about in the newspost for a strip that doesn’t utilize that technique at all.

If you’re in Edmonton, I’m going to be at Dead By Con this weekend. It’s a locally run horror convention. I attended it last year for fun, and it was great, so now I’m returning with a vengeance. And also to sell GWAR books. I’ve never tabled at a horror convention before, so it’ll be a fun, new experience.

EMPLOYEE OF THE WEEK:

Robbie Dorman, host of The Simpsons Show podcast, is this week’s Employee of the Week. I love the Simpsons (I would hope that’s clear from the comics I’ve made), and I love The Simpsons Show. It’s very good.

If you think Hell, Inc. is worth a dollar, you should give said dollar(s) to the Hell, Inc. Patreon, because that helps keep things running over here. Money: I need it to live.

As always, not everyone can afford to give their favourite artists money. But everyone can afford to give them clicks! Click on the banner below to vote for Hell, Inc. on Top Webcomics, which is the number one source for driving new readers to the site.

NEXT WEEK: SHOTS, SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS. Patreon. Go there. Money. Me. Comics. Read early.

Eyes on the Prize

I have returned from my vacation in Mexico, which is the first real vacation (ie. not doing a convention so I can afford the rest of the trip) I’ve taken in FOURTEEN YEARS. I feel great, which I’m sure freelancing will take care of shortly.

EMPLOYEE OF THE WEEK:

Brien Aronov is Employee of the Week! He doesn’t have anything for me to plug in these news posts, but YOU could. If you think Hell, Inc is worth a buck, head on over to the Patreon and become a patron so I can spend more time on this instead of freelancing. Stumping for work sucks, I’d much rather be making my own work to entertain you folks.

Votes on Top Webcomics are a great way to support the comic, as well. New readers = more dopamine hits from the stat ticker going up. It (and Webtoon) are the largest source of new readers, so votes are very useful. Click the banner to vote!

Next Week: Doug is on some real Charlie Brown on the mound shit. Read it early on Patreon!

Be the Cockatrice Butt

I don’t know why I’ve been going really crazy with backgrounds lately, but I definitely have. As I type this, I’m taking a break from colouring a scene that is even more full of stuff. Also, I’m typing this several days before it goes up, because when it’s live, I’ll be on the first vacation I’ve taken in 14 years. COMICS, EVERYONE.

EMPLOYEE OF THE WEEK:

Joe Amon is Employee of the Week! If you, like Joe, think Hell, Inc. is worth a dollar, kick that dollar over to the Hell, Inc. Patreon, which helps finance things like “my mortgage payments” and “drawing this comic instead of hunting for freelance jobs.” You can get rewards like early access to Hell, Inc. strips and EVERY DIGITAL COMIC I’VE EVER MADE (that I’m not legally prevented from offering as a Patreon reward). So go do that.

You can also help Hell, Inc. by voting for it on Top Webcomics, which has been the best source for bringing in new readers to the comic. Click the banner below to vote!

Next Week: Helen’s priorities are very well-defined. Find out what they are by supporting Hell, Inc. on Patreon.

Pretend Rummaging

The last Hell, Inc. strip of 2019! I kind of want to make a “Property of Hell, Inc. Mandatory Athletics Department” t-shirt, which I now have the capability to do because I have a Teepublic store. Leave a comment or send me an email or whatever if that’s a thing you’d be interested in.

EMPLOYEE OF THE WEEK:

Brien Aronov is Employee of the Week, and so can you! If you think what I do here with Hell, Inc. is worth a buck, you can be shouted out as Employee of the Week upon joining the Hell, Inc. Patreon. At $2 or higher, you enter the regular rotation. Got a thing to promote? I’ll link to it in your shoutout.

If you’re broke, like your corporate overlords desire you to be, you can help Hell, Inc. by voting for it on Top Webcomics, which helps bring in new readers. Votes are even more valuable early in the month, so vote early and often in 2020!

Next Week: Back in the office, where things will assuredly be better. Read it early on Patreon!