You’re Scheming Too Loud

This scene exists because I initially had B.L. Zebub connecting the chair thing to Sara immediately and praising her for it, but as soon as I wrote it I realized that didn’t make any sense. So instead, Sara expects that because SHE knows what happened, it will be obvious to the person she’s trying to impress with it. But it isn’t, because why would it be? And then I got to draw Ray doing a weird looming stretch thing. That was pretty fun.

EMPLOYEE OF THE WEEK:

Welcome new hire Bartender of the Apocalypse, who presumably works at O’Hellihan’s. They’ve joined the ranks of Hell, Inc.’s Patreon supporters, who help keep this train on the tracks (or perhaps an office-related metaphor that means the same thing). You can do the same by supporting Hell, Inc. on Patreon for as little as $1, which gets you digital copies of just about everything I’ve done, as well as Hell, Inc. Volume 3: Team-building Exercise, which is only available on Patreon for the foreseeable future.

You can also help Hell, Inc. by voting for it on Top Webcomics, which is the primary source of new readers for the comic. You can vote daily by clicking on the banner below!

Next Week: CHAIR CRIMES. Support Hell, Inc. on Patreon, do Chair Crimes.

Forgot How to Chair

Remembering how to chair is a very important part of everyday life. I’m chair-ing right now as I type this update. I was chairing earlier as I was painting plastic Space Marines, which I have been doing quite frequently lately. I’ve also gotten a handful of Hell, Inc. strips drawn that I wasn’t expecting to have time for. I think I’ve been able to apply some of the stuff I’ve learned from the book project I’m contracted on to Hell, Inc., which has been kinda cool.

EMPLOYEE OF THE WEEK:

Sylvia Douglas is Employee of the Week. She has a whole bunch of projects on the go as a writer, film-maker, and waffle connoisseur, which you can check out from her website.  If you think what I do here with Hell, Inc. is worth a buck, head over to the Hell, Inc. Patreon. New patrons receive the third Hell, Inc. book, “Team-building Exercise,” which isn’t available anywhere else (and won’t be until whenever the next print book Kickstarter happens at some point in the future). There are also over a thousand pages of other comics available to patrons, so check those out. Patreon. Go there.

You can also help out Hell, Inc. by clicking on the banner below to vote on Top Webcomics, which is the number one source of new readers for the comic.

Next Week: Can you scheme somewhere else? It’s distracting. Read it early on Patreon!

A Very Normal Face

Sara’s dialogue in the first two panels is, in hindsight, a pretty concise encapsulation of my existence in the direct market comics industry. I have since fallen ass-backwards into the book market, which has been a far greater fit for both my skill set and career goals. In fact, I’m about to get the paperwork done for my first full gig in the book market (I did inking work on a book last year), which I’ll be spending most of the back half of 2020 drawing. Don’t worry, though, I’m like 30 weeks ahead on Hell, Inc., so interruptions to the regular update schedule should be minimal or not present at all.

EMPLOYEE OF THE WEEK:

Sebastian is Employee of the Week, and I forgot to ask him if he wants me to plug anything for him, so, uh… hit me up if you want me to plug anything for you? If you, dear reader, want to be Employee of the Week, or just think Hell, Inc. is worth a dollar and want to help support it, head on over to the Hell, Inc. Patreon. You’ll also receive Hell, Inc. book 3: “Team-building Exercise” and over 1000 pages of other comics!

You can also help support Hell, Inc. by voting for it on Top Webcomics, which is the largest source of new readers for the comic. Votes early in the month are worth more, so hit up the voting extra-frequently later this week. Click the banner below to vote!

Next Week: The Ballad of Ray Trying to Sit Down. Find out what the hell that even means by supporting Hell, Inc. on Patreon!

Failure to Toady

Don’t you just hate it when you’re trying to get some quality brown-nosing in and the boss slams the door right in your face? Just the worst.

EMPLOYEE OF THE WEEK:

Laurel is Employee of the Week, and one of the many new patrons to take advantage of the COVID-related benefits now being offered – new patrons will not only gain access to the digital edition of the third Hell, Inc. book, “Team-building Exercise,” months before it’s released to the general public, they will also have access to over a thousand pages of other digital comics! At the $5 and up tier, you’ll also get new digital comics as they’re released! If you want to get in on that, or just think that Hell, Inc. is worth a buck, head over to the Patreon page and help keep the lights on.

You can also help out Hell, Inc. by voting for it on Top Webcomics, which is the largest source of new readers. More votes = more visibility = more new readers. You can vote by clicking the banner below!

Next Week: The least alarming face, definitely. Read it early on Patreon!

Too Much? Too Much

“We need a six out of ten, and you’re giving us a fifteen, so maybe let’s dial it back a little?” Also I am not at all going to miss drawing the practice calendar in the background, because it always ends up making things take longer.

EMPLOYEE OF THE WEEK:

Jillian Dolan is Employee of the Week! You should check out the comics she’s drawn, Kyle the Nihilist Dinosaur and Misha. We also just took the same digital colouring class last weekend, although you won’t see any of the things I learned from it in Hell, Inc. in the near future, because I’m like 30 strips ahead right now. If you want to help out your favourite independent artist/fake megacorporation, be like Jillian and support Hell, Inc. on Patreon. New patrons will be receiving a digital copy of Hell, Inc. book 3, “Team-building Exercise,” as well as over a thousand pages of other comics.

You can also support Hell, Inc. by voting for it on Top Webcomics, because that’s the largest source of new readers for the comic. You can vote daily by clicking on the banner below!

Next Week: Sara’s enthusiasm continues to be mismatched to the situation. Read it early on Patreon!

Arms Like Noodles

I rewatched some Invader Zim a while ago, and was surprised at how much of it held up. I was afraid that it would be too LOLrandom upon revisiting it, but it turns out that’s just what gets quoted most of the time. I’m sure that show definitely had an influence on my joke writing style, which involves a lot of weird phrases designed to make what would otherwise be a normal scene funnier. So of course that’s what I’m writing about in the newspost for a strip that doesn’t utilize that technique at all.

If you’re in Edmonton, I’m going to be at Dead By Con this weekend. It’s a locally run horror convention. I attended it last year for fun, and it was great, so now I’m returning with a vengeance. And also to sell GWAR books. I’ve never tabled at a horror convention before, so it’ll be a fun, new experience.

EMPLOYEE OF THE WEEK:

Robbie Dorman, host of The Simpsons Show podcast, is this week’s Employee of the Week. I love the Simpsons (I would hope that’s clear from the comics I’ve made), and I love The Simpsons Show. It’s very good.

If you think Hell, Inc. is worth a dollar, you should give said dollar(s) to the Hell, Inc. Patreon, because that helps keep things running over here. Money: I need it to live.

As always, not everyone can afford to give their favourite artists money. But everyone can afford to give them clicks! Click on the banner below to vote for Hell, Inc. on Top Webcomics, which is the number one source for driving new readers to the site.

NEXT WEEK: SHOTS, SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS. Patreon. Go there. Money. Me. Comics. Read early.

Pot vs. Kettle

“Hey, Pot? Yeah, this is Kettle. Yeah. You’re black.”

This is the kind of strip where I wish this was a cartoon so that space and time were separate elements. Doug looking back and forth between Harry and Zebub would be like 5 full seconds.

EMPLOYEE OF THE WEEK:

Sylvia Douglas is the Employee of the Week, and made a movie called Without in 2019, which you can all learn more about on her website. If you think what I do here on Hell, Inc. is worth a dollar, support the Hell, Inc. Patreon and YOU TOO can be Employee of the Week. At $2 or more, you enter the recurring rotation of Employees of the Week. Do it, I don’t have any work lined up in the foreseeable future that isn’t pitching projects to see if maybe they get picked up.

As always, votes on Top Webcomic are super helpful for growing readership. Votes early in the month are especially valuable, as those boost the comic much farther, much faster. Vote often by clicking the banner below.

Next Week: Some real Charlie Brown baseball energy. Read it early on Patreon!

Eyes on the Prize

I have returned from my vacation in Mexico, which is the first real vacation (ie. not doing a convention so I can afford the rest of the trip) I’ve taken in FOURTEEN YEARS. I feel great, which I’m sure freelancing will take care of shortly.

EMPLOYEE OF THE WEEK:

Brien Aronov is Employee of the Week! He doesn’t have anything for me to plug in these news posts, but YOU could. If you think Hell, Inc is worth a buck, head on over to the Patreon and become a patron so I can spend more time on this instead of freelancing. Stumping for work sucks, I’d much rather be making my own work to entertain you folks.

Votes on Top Webcomics are a great way to support the comic, as well. New readers = more dopamine hits from the stat ticker going up. It (and Webtoon) are the largest source of new readers, so votes are very useful. Click the banner to vote!

Next Week: Doug is on some real Charlie Brown on the mound shit. Read it early on Patreon!

The Pain of Comedy

I don’t know why I decided that Steve was a sweaty demon boi, but I did, and it’s canon now.

ALSO! Fun fact, Hell, Inc. is available on the Webtoon app now! It’s starting back at page 1, but it’ll be updated at a faster rate (daily for the first week, then 2 per week after that) until it catches up to the main site. If you prefer to read your comics on the Webtoon app, subscribe to Hell, Inc. on there.

EMPLOYEE OF THE WEEK:

Sylvia Douglas is the Employee of the Week, and made a movie called Without in 2019, which you can all learn more about on her website. If you think what I do here on Hell, Inc. is worth a dollar, support the Hell, Inc. Patreon and YOU TOO can be Employee of the Week. At $2 or more, you enter the recurring rotation of Employees of the Week. Do it, I don’t have any work lined up in the foreseeable future that isn’t pitching projects to see if maybe they get picked up.

If you can’t afford to support the Patreon because capitalism sucks, click on the link below to vote for Hell, Inc. on Top Webcomics and help bring new readers to the comic.

Next Week: Visions of horror and also Tetris. Read it early on Patreon.

Pretend Rummaging

The last Hell, Inc. strip of 2019! I kind of want to make a “Property of Hell, Inc. Mandatory Athletics Department” t-shirt, which I now have the capability to do because I have a Teepublic store. Leave a comment or send me an email or whatever if that’s a thing you’d be interested in.

EMPLOYEE OF THE WEEK:

Brien Aronov is Employee of the Week, and so can you! If you think what I do here with Hell, Inc. is worth a buck, you can be shouted out as Employee of the Week upon joining the Hell, Inc. Patreon. At $2 or higher, you enter the regular rotation. Got a thing to promote? I’ll link to it in your shoutout.

If you’re broke, like your corporate overlords desire you to be, you can help Hell, Inc. by voting for it on Top Webcomics, which helps bring in new readers. Votes are even more valuable early in the month, so vote early and often in 2020!

Next Week: Back in the office, where things will assuredly be better. Read it early on Patreon!