Chapter: 2021

Extreme Christmas Measures

Merry Christmas to those of you who celebrate, and happy holidays to everyone! It’s a busy season, which resulted in me forgetting what day it was, so this is later in the day than normal. What even is time?

EMPLOYEE OF THE WEEK:

Sebastian is Employee of the holiday Week! Like him, you can also read Hockeypocalypse: Slashers as I draw it AND access to over a thousand pages of other comics, including the previous Hockeypocalypse books, for $5 a month on Patreon. It’s like a giving me a Christmas present and then I give you multiple new pages ever week!

You can also help Hell, Inc. by voting for it on Top Webcomics! It’s a regular source of new readers, and more votes = higher placement and better visibility. Click the banner below to vote daily.

Next Week: Untangling Christmas lights, a task so annoying that I bought a Christmas tree with the lights built into it. Read it early on Patreon!

Drinkable Plans

So last week I had a tweet become extremely popular, which was not an experience I had previously had. As a result, Hell, Inc. had some truly absurd (by my standards) readership stats, and some of you reading this right now have found your way here from that. Welcome! This is Hell, Inc., it is very good, you should keep reading it.

EMPLOYEE OF THE WEEK:

Jillian Dolan, artist of Kyle the Nihilist Dinosaur, Misha, and other delightful comics, is Employee of the Week! She has access to Hockeypocalypse: Slashers, my new graphic novel, which is being serialized on Patreon as I draw it! We’re in the second half of the book as of this post, and they’re some of the best pages I’ve ever drawn. The first 5 pages are available on Patreon for free, and the rest are unlocked by donating at the $5 and up tiers. So go do that.

You can also help Hell, Inc. by voting for it on Top Webcomics, which is not nearly as effective as having a popular tweet, but has been a more easily enacted strategy for gaining new readers. Click the banner below to vote daily!

Next Week: B.L. Zebub must enact extreme measures, which might be some sort of nuclear overtime? Hard to say, but you can find out by reading it early on Patreon!

Traumatized Again

C’mon, Sara, you know that the outdoors wants to kill you, and that’s why the indoors exists. Don’t act surprised about it.

EMPLOYEE OF THE WEEK:

Barrie Deatcher is Employee of the Week for upgrading his Patreon pledge to read the new Hockeypocalypse graphic novel, Slashers, as I draw it! And you can, too, by pledging at the $5/month or higher levels! There are over 50 pages posted, currently, and patrons will be receiving a print copy of the book when those are ready! Very exciting stuff, because it’s a fucking awesome book so far.

Voting for Hell, Inc. on Top Webcomics helps make the comic more visible on their rankings, and therefore more visible to potential new readers! Click on the banner below to vote daily!

Next Week: Sometimes you have to capitalize on the intern’s trauma to make plans. Read it early on Patreon!

Butt Schedule

Butt Schedule could also be some sort of appointment to have a butt. What does that mean? I don’t know.

EMPLOYEE OF THE WEEK:

Cindy Gauthier is Employee of the Week, and you can read her comic on Webtoon! It’s called Posthumous, and is a comic about two friends exploring space and how the things that are in space are often terrifying. Other things that are terrifying include having Patreon being my primary source of income at the moment! Do you like Hell, Inc.? Kick in a buck a month! Want to be Employee of the Week? Chip in 2 bucks a month. Want to read my brand new graphic novel Hockeypocalypse: Slashers as I draw it? 5 bucks. Want me to draw some stuff for you? Only 20 or 30 bucks. Get on board, where we’re going we need comics.

You can also vote for Hell, Inc. on Top Webcomics! It’s been doing shockingly well the last 6 weeks or so, keep up the good work, dear readers! You can vote daily by clicking the banner below.

Next Week: Going outside and not expecting death and destruction is some real rookie stuff. Read it early on Patreon!

Dumb Dummy

You may be noticing that this comic has the same title as last week. That’s because I’m an idiot and looked at the wrong file name last week. The last comic has since been renamed to its intended title, Lava Bees. Because it was the one where they talk about Lava Bees. Sometimes you don’t need to think that hard about titles, y’know?

EMPLOYEE OF THE WEEK:

Ben Hamlin, host of Syndicated with Lesley and Ben (among other casted pods), is Employee of the Week. You can check out the two episodes of Syndicated that I guested on to hear my talk with my meat voice about workplace comedies. So it’s kind of like Hell, Inc. except there aren’t any drawings, just me and Lesley making Ben uncomfortable by making a lot of tight butthole jokes.

In other news (if it still counts as news when I’ve been doing it for months) I’m serializing my new graphic novel, Hockeypocalypse: Slashers on Patreon at the $5/month and up tier, which gets you 10-15 pages of the book as I draw them! It’s the best book I’ve made so far, so you should absolutely check it out, because patrons at the $5/month and up tiers will ALSO be getting a print copy of the book when that’s ready.

It’s almost a new month, which means votes count for more on Top Webcomics as the rankings reset. November was surprisingly strong, so keep it up in December. Surely people will need webcomics to read while avoiding their family members during the holidays, right? Click on the banner below to vote daily.

Next Week: Butt schemes – are they tight butthole? Find out on Patreon!

Lava Bees

I’m also annoyed when people shoot down my brilliant ideas because they’re “impractical” and “dangerous” and “will absolutely cause more harm than good.” Solidarity, Steve.

EMPLOYEE OF THE WEEK:

Robbie Dorman is Employee of the Week, and is co-host of The Simpsons Show, the only podcast about The Simpsons. You should also follow him on Twitter to learn about his new novel releases. You should ALSO check out the Hell, Inc. Patreon, which is currently host to my new graphic novel, Hockeypocalypse: Slashers. I’m posting 3-4 pages per week for patrons at the $5/month and up levels. You get to help me have an income while I draw the book AND you’ll get a printed copy in the mail when they’re ready! So go support your favourite cartoonist for the cost of a coffee (which is a terrible point to convince someone of anything, since caffeine is addictive and, unfortunately, my comics are not).

You can vote for Hell, Inc. on Top Webcomics, which helps bring in new readers. Click on the banner below to vote daily!

Next Week: There are dumb dummies all over this office, apparently. Read it early on Patreon!

Solid Sara

The third panel was really easy to write and quite a challenge to draw, which is generally the case whenever something is hard to draw.

EMPLOYEE OF THE WEEK:

Brien Aronov is Employee of the Week, and is reading Hockeypocalypse: Slashers as I write it! Will it be the best book I’ve ever produced? Probably! And by supporting me on Patreon at the $5/month and up levels you’ll get a print copy when it’s done. Supporting my art on Patreon means I can keep doing stuff like that instead of hunting for freelance jobs and trying to develop graphic novel pitches that agents/publishers will like (I have no idea what either of those groups like). Capitalism, it is a huge pain in the ass for someone like me who likes to make stuff but whose creative niche does not result in making hits.

You can help more people find Hell, Inc. by voting for on Top Webcomics! Click the banner below to vote daily, and also just tell some people you think would like it. Know people who read comics? Tell them about Hell, Inc. and send a link. Word of mouth is the only universally effective way to spread the word.

Next Week: There are no bad ideas, except that’s not true at all, there are absolutely bad ideas. Read it early on Patreon!

That Good Misery

I lovelovelove doing layouts that push what a comic strip can look like, and since this is strip number 200, I wanted to make it stand out. Also, this is strip number 200, which is kinda wild to me. That’s a lot of comic strips, and I want to thank all of you for being why so many strips exist. Whether you’ve been reading since the start or just discovering the comic now, Hell, Inc. doesn’t get to 200 strips if people aren’t reading it. Of course, MORE people reading it is always great, so please share the comic with your friends.

EMPLOYEE OF THE WEEK:

Joe Amon is Employee of the Week, and is reading Hockeypocalypse: Slashers as I draw it! And you can, too, by supporting me on Patreon at the $5/month or higher tier, which will help me gain financial independence from freelancing, which is a real grind. So, y’know, you should do that if you can.

You should also vote for Hell, Inc. on Top Webcomics, because more votes = a higher ranking = more visibility to webcomic readers! Click the banner below to vote!

Next Week: The closest I will come to making a Metal Gear Solid comic, perhaps? Read it early on Patreon!

The Normalest

What, you don’t just stand around like that it in the kitchen? That’s NOT the normalest thing to do? Neither is saying “normalest?” Well now I just don’t know what to think about the world.

EMPLOYEE OF THE WEEK:

Cait is Employee of the Week at Hell, Inc. and also at her soap business, Soaps & Sorcery. You should go buy soap from her right now. I’ll wait here. Okay, you’re back? Cool, we’ll resume the newspost then. Have you thought about supporting Hell, Inc. on Patreon? You should, because that’s how I have financial security outside of freelancing (incidentally, I have very little financial security outside of freelancing).

You can also help Hell, Inc. by voting for it on Top Webcomics, where the largest number of new readers come from. The rankings reset at the beginning of the month, which means that votes mean a lot more for determining placement. Vote daily by clicking the banner below!

Next Week: Hell, Inc. #200! That’s so many comics! I need a nap. Read it early on Patreon.

No Fun For You

B.L. Zebub always gets the best lines, as villains often do.

In other news, I have signed on for two new short-term projects that you will be hearing more about in January.

EMPLOYEE OF THE WEEK:

Leonardo is Employee of the Week, and probably not a ninja turtle, despite what 5 year old me would think. He has access to new Hockeypocalypse: Slashers pages as I draw them, and will be getting a physical copy of the book when it’s done! Issue 14 is complete and I’ve begun posting pages from issue 15.

You can help Hell, Inc. reach more readers by voting for it on Top Webcomics (also, y’know, tell your friends about it and send them links and shit)! Click on the banner below to vote daily!

Next Week: Things in the break room are extremely normal. The normalest. Read it early on Patreon!